As another Christmas approaches and kids grow up, parents start to prepare for a conversation that might happen any time: how should you manage the question “is Santa real?”. We know that telling the truth about Santa takes preparation, so buckle up and let’s explore the topic together.
First things first: don’t jump into rushed answers. If your child asks the question directly, inquire them on why they’re asking, and what made them think about that.
This is not to diverge from the topic, but to measure how sensitive your Little One might feel about this. This should calibrate your answer for the best.
When to Consider Telling the Truth About Santa
According to research, children discover the truth about Santa around 7 or 8 years old, but this is not set in stone. One of the findings of this same survey, however, pointed out that the older children are when finding out that Santa isn’t real, the more likely they are to have longing negative emotions about it.
This is why engaging adequately in the conversation about Santa is important: you don’t want to break your child’s trust and give them the impression you’ve been lying to them this whole time.
Remember to ask questions and also to answer according to your child’s age and understanding.
How to Tell Kids the Truth About Santa Claus
Ultimately, choosing the right method and approach to disclaim Santa’s true story is up to each family.
This is because everyone has different beliefs regarding Christmas. And this should be considered when you’re preparing for this conversation.
Approaches and Possible Scenarios When Talking About Santa
Religion:
Is Christmas more connected with religious beliefs in your household? You can use this to cool down any emotions about Santa after telling the truth to your children.
Possible approach (which you should adapt according to your family’s designed faith): “Although Santa Claus is not real, he’s a magical character that is part of Christmas, but the holidays are not purely about him.
Celebrating the birth of Christ is the most important thing, and we do it by spending time together and remembering His love”.
Unveiling History:
Do you prefer to have a more pragmatic approach and explain why there is a Santa figure in the first place? If so, redeem the original story and share it.
Possible approach: “Santa Claus might not be real, but he is a symbol that represents a person that actually existed. Saint Nicholas lived in Europe, many centuries ago, and used to give surprise gifts in December, when it’s colder, for the less fortunate.
He became the representation of generosity and sharing what you have with others, and this is the most important thing about Christmas! Our family can still celebrate it because Santa is a symbol, but togetherness and love is its real meaning”.
Secret Society:
Other parents prefer to go for a more ludic approach to the topic. Instead of breaking the news that Santa isn’t real, they assemble their child to join a sort of club, something like People Who Know The Truth About Santa situation!
Possible approach: “If you understand that Santa isn’t real, you are now ready to join a very important society! Only adults and grown-up children join this club: our job is to hold the truth about Santa, and not it to people who still believe in him.
If you find a school friend who still assumes Santa’s real, don’t ever tell them the truth! They’ll join the club when it’s their time, just like it happened with you. Deal?”
What if My Child Wants to Tell Friends the Truth About Santa?
Regardless of the approach you go for, keep in mind that it’s not anyone’s place to force their beliefs on others. So strike a deal with your Little One and tell them they’re not allowed to tell other children that Santa is not real.
You can explain that we all have to respect other people’s convictions, and that this is an act of consideration and love.
Tell your child that everyone’s Mom, Dad, and Grannies will have a conversation about this subject amongst themselves when they understand the time is right.
How to Deal With My Child’s Negative Emotions?
The same study mentioned earlier found that, even when children do feel strong and negative, these conflicting feelings typically won’t last for long.
However, if you find yourself facing an outburst, it’s very important to handle it properly.
Firstly, acknowledge that the child might be dealing with a lot, and give them room to feel their feelings. You can help them regulate it by instructing them to breathe, pausing and collecting their thoughts so you can better understand what’s going on.
When you perceive your child’s calmer, just as you did when the child started bringing questions about Santa, dig deeper. Inquire about what they’re feeling and what’s going on inside their heads. Based on the answers, you can reply accordingly.
Preparing for Common Comebacks
A list of expected answers your child might have when knowing the truth about Santa, and suggested strategies to tackle it.
1) You lied to me
“Santa is a tradition in the country we live in. Mom and Dad also grew up believing in Santa because it helps us understand the true meaning of sharing during Christmas. This is why we didn’t tell you right away that Santa isn’t real.
But telling a story about a tradition doesn’t mean we’re lying. It’s just that we wanted you to grasp and love what Christmas represents, and learning about Santa is a part of that! Don’t you have your own imaginary friends? Santa is something similar to that!”
2) All my friends still believe in Santa
“That’s ok! Everyone has their own pace and this is to be respected. If someone asks you if you believe in Santa, you can choose to answer the truth, or reply that you prefer to not talk about that subject.
Just be kind to other people and don’t tell them about Santa if they didn’t ask you, ok?”
3) I don’t want to celebrate Christmas anymore
“That’s up to you because we won’t force you to do anything, even though we might still celebrate it. In our house, we believe in the deeper meaning of Christmas, and we love doing our holiday traditions.
Don’t you like exchanging presents? Or the food we cook together? Getting to see our family? Why don’t you try to celebrate Christmas again, even after knowing about Santa, and see if you still enjoy it?”
Although we’ve given some practical tips on handling different scenarios when telling the truth about Santa, only Mom and Dad know the best approach to hold this conversation with their Little Ones.
If you feel there’s any greater sensitivity around this topic and still don’t feel completely comfortable telling your children the truth about Santa Claus, please seek specialized help from pediatricians and child psychologists before engaging on the subject.
Although the dilemma of telling the truth about Santa might come up during the holidays, the season is really about love, unity and celebration.
Keep your inspiration going by learning our picks for the best Christmas games to enjoy with your family!
