Swearing is a common yet surprising behavior that parents might encounter in their children. It’s often an unexpected moment, so parents don’t want to be caught off guard. If you want to be ahead of the game, understanding the average age for swearing and the reasons behind this behavior can help parents address it in a constructive and supportive manner.
Why Do Children Swear?
Basically, as a repetition of something they’ve been exposed to.
As much as you love spending time with your Little One, you can’t control everything around them.
So the new and unwanted vocabulary could come from television, social media, a school buddy, or any random other adult they are close to.
The reasons why children swear can vary: it can be to try to get attention from parents, demonstrate anger or frustration, or even unintentionally – when they’re trying to learn new words, for instance.
What Is The Average Age For Swearing?
Children can start swearing as early as their second birthday. A study from the Association for Psychological Science has shown that the offenses get worse as children get older, so your 2 year-old will unlikely say anything worth extremely shocking.
Starting from 4 years old, although children might not completely understand the meaning of the word, they imagine they’ll get a reaction out of saying it.
This is not to say that a child cursing is something parents shouldn’t care about. Although it’s not appropriate behavior, parents shouldn’t be too quick to respond to it nor ignore it completely.
Here’s how to manage the situation.
How Can Parents Handle Children Swearing?
Although it is interesting to inquire the child on where they heard that word, try your best to not place judgment on it.
Don’t ask the question if you can’t hold back your anger or disappointment about them using an inappropriate word.
This will only make them feel uncomfortable being spontaneous around your presence, and as a parent, you don’t want that.
Communication Is Essential
Having conversations on what cursing means and establishing boundaries around it is key. Naturally, the depth of your explanations will vary according to the child’s age.
If they’re younger than 4 years old, it’s probably better to not overexplain; make your feedback objective and don’t spend too much time exploring the topic of cursing with the child.
When it comes to children in their 5’s and beyond, they can already handle a more complex and time-consuming conversation.
Explain that there are boundaries as to what kind of words can be used around other people, and in specific places.
To keep it simpler, you can correct your child saying that that is a word that only adults can use, and have an agreement with your child that they can’t say it.
Don’t Overreact
Regardless of your impulse of laughing or vigorously correcting the child, refrain from your first reaction. Whatever that is, your children can associate the use of specific words to get your attention.
When you do respond, make it casual. Have conversations about the swearing instead of scolding it, diminishing it or pretending you didn’t listen to it.
Expand Your Child’s Emotional Vocabulary
This is a great opportunity to develop your child’s emotional literacy capacity.
Just as it happens with adults, cursing usually means something: it denotes a feeling.
So take the opportunity to talk to your child about why they chose to use that word. What are they feeling?
Have a judgment-free conversation by not making the child feel bad over their feelings – especially if they are negative.
Talk your child through other words and feelings that can better describe the sensation they’re experiencing instead of cursing.
Although we can’t tell for absolute certain the average age children in which children start swearing, this behavior is normal and easily managed. However, if you feel your child’s anger is crossing any lines, or any abrupt change in their conduct, look for the help of a skilled professional, like a pediatrician or a child psychologist.
Keep moving forwards toward becoming a better parent and handling your children’s emotions: learn the basics of what childhood emotional neglect means and how to navigate it.
